Tuesday, December 15, 2009
chpt.7
It was about when I was in fifth grade, I started to bealiv that there was no god. I knew that was was going to live the rest of my life like this I was sick and tired of being hugger and having to eat out of the dog bowl . If mother would have caught me eating out of the dog bowl I would pay dearly. I wish mother was dead but before she would die I would have her go thought what I have to go thought every day with I would make her feel the pain I feel . I hated that one day mother had trash the house to one side to another I got down on m knees that night and prayed only ones has god answered my prayers and that was when mother was being very mean and I asked him to make mother sick so she couldn’t heart me the next day I just wish god would help me . I want out of this place. I wish mother wouldn’t have changed I miss her holding me and loving me.
Monday, December 14, 2009
chpt.6
When father was at home mother would do hafe of the things she did to be when he wasn’t at home and he was at work. When he was at home he would some times help me with the dieses I loved when father would help me. Mother stopped that she said the boy DONT NEED HELP! When father would talk to me he would tell me that one day I and he would run away. But father gave up on that.
one day when father left for a week I was so scared I didn’t want him to be gone that king I bagged him to come back please don’t do go i said. When father left i had to start cleaning the floors i cleaned and cleaned till my fingers bleed. it became lunch time mother sat down a plate of little of left over 2 mines she said 2 min to eat I picked up the fork and as i stated to eat mother had snatched the plate away from me, TO LATE she said. She then throws it in the trash bag... Later that week while father was gone ,I heard mother yelling form the garage telling me to follow her up stairs in the bathroom I was scared what did mother have for me now I thought to my self? I got into the bathroom mother turned on the cold water in the tub. I was wandering why she wasn’t turning on the hot too. while the bath tub got full mother tore off my clothes mother told me to get into the tube then mother told me to put my face into the water, like this she said, she grabbed my neck and put my face into the water I kicked and kicked trying to get her to let go . mother was to strong I left my hand up and grabbed her shoulder I must have do something because mother look down at me and said next time if u don’t put your face all the way in the water ill do it longer next time .
one day when father left for a week I was so scared I didn’t want him to be gone that king I bagged him to come back please don’t do go i said. When father left i had to start cleaning the floors i cleaned and cleaned till my fingers bleed. it became lunch time mother sat down a plate of little of left over 2 mines she said 2 min to eat I picked up the fork and as i stated to eat mother had snatched the plate away from me, TO LATE she said. She then throws it in the trash bag... Later that week while father was gone ,I heard mother yelling form the garage telling me to follow her up stairs in the bathroom I was scared what did mother have for me now I thought to my self? I got into the bathroom mother turned on the cold water in the tub. I was wandering why she wasn’t turning on the hot too. while the bath tub got full mother tore off my clothes mother told me to get into the tube then mother told me to put my face into the water, like this she said, she grabbed my neck and put my face into the water I kicked and kicked trying to get her to let go . mother was to strong I left my hand up and grabbed her shoulder I must have do something because mother look down at me and said next time if u don’t put your face all the way in the water ill do it longer next time .
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Chp.5
It wasn’t even my 11th birthday I already knew I wasn’t going to get any presents
But I don’t really care all I would want is to have a family that loves me. It was a another day that mother was dirking again I don’t think that mother knows what she is doing when she is dirking later that day mother told me that I had 30mins to get the dishes done and if I wasn’t done when my time was up that she was going to kill me" holding a knife in her hand so I started doing the dishes my baby brother was trying to stand up and was hanging on mother and mother lost her balance and fell and stabbed me right ion the stomach, I knew that she didn’t mean to I tried telling her that I forgave her but I was into much pain to even talk . later mother wrapped up my stomach and after that she said to finish my chores after that I went to the garage and looked at my stomach and there was puss coming out of it I wiped it off and I was in more pain then ever mother didn’t care how much pain I was in she still had me working around the house.
But I don’t really care all I would want is to have a family that loves me. It was a another day that mother was dirking again I don’t think that mother knows what she is doing when she is dirking later that day mother told me that I had 30mins to get the dishes done and if I wasn’t done when my time was up that she was going to kill me" holding a knife in her hand so I started doing the dishes my baby brother was trying to stand up and was hanging on mother and mother lost her balance and fell and stabbed me right ion the stomach, I knew that she didn’t mean to I tried telling her that I forgave her but I was into much pain to even talk . later mother wrapped up my stomach and after that she said to finish my chores after that I went to the garage and looked at my stomach and there was puss coming out of it I wiped it off and I was in more pain then ever mother didn’t care how much pain I was in she still had me working around the house.
Friday, December 4, 2009
chp.4
Today i was very hungry today mother would not let me eat.
I wish i could eat. I went to bed that night starving.
i would dream about having food to eat my favorite is cheeseburger. Yummy, sounds so good. I open up my eye, nothing was there I did it again and nothing.
When I went to school I would always try to take the kids food out of there lunch box. I did that till I got chough my principal called my mother. I knew that I was getting it when I got home, I got home that day mother would refused to feed me mother didn’t even let me eat with the family she didn’t even thank of me as part of the family any more she didn’t even call me by my name. I was the Boy.
That summer mother and father and my brother went to the Russian river, i thought i would get alone with mother since father was there with us but i was wrong.
Father tried to make the vacation a lot fun for us by taking us kid to the new super slide. my new baby brother is still a toddler so he stead with mother at the cabin one day when my brothers and I were out side playing with are friend at a nether cabin mother yelled for us to come in, I was scolded for making to much noise, for my punishment mother told me that I had to stay with her while father took my brother to the super slide . I was hoping that something would happen so father and my brothers couldn’t go, i knew mother was up to something. When father left mother came out with baby Russell’s soiled diaper in her hand mother smeared the soiled diaper in my face. after that mother got down on her knees and in a soft voice mother said EAT IT" i was thing No way to myself mother smacked me to side to side she grabbed me by the back of my neck and took me into the kitchen and on the counter was a another diaper
Mother smashed my face into the diaper i was wishing that father would walk into the door any time. I wish I could see the clock since I couldn’t see it time was going very slow I tried to pry myself out of her grip but mother was to powerful mother finely let go THEY ARE BACK she said they are back mother got a wash cloth and threw it at me clean your self up after your done go set in the corner she said .
I wish i could eat. I went to bed that night starving.
i would dream about having food to eat my favorite is cheeseburger. Yummy, sounds so good. I open up my eye, nothing was there I did it again and nothing.
When I went to school I would always try to take the kids food out of there lunch box. I did that till I got chough my principal called my mother. I knew that I was getting it when I got home, I got home that day mother would refused to feed me mother didn’t even let me eat with the family she didn’t even thank of me as part of the family any more she didn’t even call me by my name. I was the Boy.
That summer mother and father and my brother went to the Russian river, i thought i would get alone with mother since father was there with us but i was wrong.
Father tried to make the vacation a lot fun for us by taking us kid to the new super slide. my new baby brother is still a toddler so he stead with mother at the cabin one day when my brothers and I were out side playing with are friend at a nether cabin mother yelled for us to come in, I was scolded for making to much noise, for my punishment mother told me that I had to stay with her while father took my brother to the super slide . I was hoping that something would happen so father and my brothers couldn’t go, i knew mother was up to something. When father left mother came out with baby Russell’s soiled diaper in her hand mother smeared the soiled diaper in my face. after that mother got down on her knees and in a soft voice mother said EAT IT" i was thing No way to myself mother smacked me to side to side she grabbed me by the back of my neck and took me into the kitchen and on the counter was a another diaper
Mother smashed my face into the diaper i was wishing that father would walk into the door any time. I wish I could see the clock since I couldn’t see it time was going very slow I tried to pry myself out of her grip but mother was to powerful mother finely let go THEY ARE BACK she said they are back mother got a wash cloth and threw it at me clean your self up after your done go set in the corner she said .
Chp.3
My relationship with mother is changing, she is getting out of control it gets really bad some times, and I think to myself, why is mother doing this to me?
It would only happen when father was at work. Mother started to even look bad she is always lying on the couch in her bathrobe with no make up on.
On the days that mother would look that why means that it’s not going to be a very good day. when mother decided that the corner treatment was no longer effective, that now she is doing the mirror treatment she would grab me by my arm, smash my face against the mirror and order me to stand there and keep repeating over and over that I am a bad boy I am a bad boy ..
while father was at work mother would make me and my brothers search for her missing things .once I forgot what I was looking for I was so scared to go ask my mother what it was ,mother smacked me in the face. Blood gushed from my nose,” you know damn well what you are looking for mother said! I ran back down to the basement. I was wishing I could find that i was looking for and taking it back up to mother and her being happy and giving me hugs and kisses for finding it for her but i never found mothers things and she never let me forget that. Mother was different when father would come home from work , when mom fixed her hair and put nice clothes she seemed more relaxed I loved when dad was home ever where dad was I was always beside his side. a mother or two later on a Sunday while dad was at work and my brother and I was playing in are rooms I hear mother yelling for us my brothers ran for cover the living room I instantly sat down in my chair, mother came at me when she got close I back my chair up till I back it up so far my head touched the wall I closed my eyes and blows began to rock me side to side , I covered my face with my hands mother would just knock them away she started to punch me. Her punches seem to last forever and out of know where I hear a pop! Mom heard it too I know she did because she stops pulling on me and just walked away. I just sat there in pain I knew something bad has happen mother just ignored the fact that I was hurt. I hear her yell for my brothers and I to come eat I was sent to bed early that night , while I was walking to my room mother told me to sleep on the top bunk tonight, witch was weird because i always sleep on the bottom .. Later I found out why she had me sleep on the top. In the morning mother had told me that I have fallen out of the top bed that she needed to get me to the hospital that I got hurt really bad. Later on in the week my brother went to this ladies house that would with the boy scouts I didn’t get to go because I was bad boy. Me and mother drove home and when we got into the house mother was very mad she told me that her life was like a liveing hell that she wanted me to feel how she feels so mother took me in the kitchen and stood me by the stove I was scared I wanted to run away .mother turn the top of the stove on. I new something bad was going to happen. She took my arm and put it over the hot fire.
I could smell burning and the hair of my arms burning off. I hurt so badly. I wish she would of stop after she was done mother didn’t think that I knew how she felt she wanted to show me more. Mother told me that she show on TV that a mother had put her child on top of the stove that was it, I knew today might be the day that I would die. I was hoping that it was time that my brother came home I was trying blow my mother of till it was time from him to walk into the door. Mother was scaring me. I keep trying to talk to her and west time. she told me to get on top of the stove I got on top of the stove time was going so slow, right before mother turn the stove on brother ran into the house. THANK GOD! Brother saved my life ran away from mom while she goes and talks to brother.
It would only happen when father was at work. Mother started to even look bad she is always lying on the couch in her bathrobe with no make up on.
On the days that mother would look that why means that it’s not going to be a very good day. when mother decided that the corner treatment was no longer effective, that now she is doing the mirror treatment she would grab me by my arm, smash my face against the mirror and order me to stand there and keep repeating over and over that I am a bad boy I am a bad boy ..
while father was at work mother would make me and my brothers search for her missing things .once I forgot what I was looking for I was so scared to go ask my mother what it was ,mother smacked me in the face. Blood gushed from my nose,” you know damn well what you are looking for mother said! I ran back down to the basement. I was wishing I could find that i was looking for and taking it back up to mother and her being happy and giving me hugs and kisses for finding it for her but i never found mothers things and she never let me forget that. Mother was different when father would come home from work , when mom fixed her hair and put nice clothes she seemed more relaxed I loved when dad was home ever where dad was I was always beside his side. a mother or two later on a Sunday while dad was at work and my brother and I was playing in are rooms I hear mother yelling for us my brothers ran for cover the living room I instantly sat down in my chair, mother came at me when she got close I back my chair up till I back it up so far my head touched the wall I closed my eyes and blows began to rock me side to side , I covered my face with my hands mother would just knock them away she started to punch me. Her punches seem to last forever and out of know where I hear a pop! Mom heard it too I know she did because she stops pulling on me and just walked away. I just sat there in pain I knew something bad has happen mother just ignored the fact that I was hurt. I hear her yell for my brothers and I to come eat I was sent to bed early that night , while I was walking to my room mother told me to sleep on the top bunk tonight, witch was weird because i always sleep on the bottom .. Later I found out why she had me sleep on the top. In the morning mother had told me that I have fallen out of the top bed that she needed to get me to the hospital that I got hurt really bad. Later on in the week my brother went to this ladies house that would with the boy scouts I didn’t get to go because I was bad boy. Me and mother drove home and when we got into the house mother was very mad she told me that her life was like a liveing hell that she wanted me to feel how she feels so mother took me in the kitchen and stood me by the stove I was scared I wanted to run away .mother turn the top of the stove on. I new something bad was going to happen. She took my arm and put it over the hot fire.
I could smell burning and the hair of my arms burning off. I hurt so badly. I wish she would of stop after she was done mother didn’t think that I knew how she felt she wanted to show me more. Mother told me that she show on TV that a mother had put her child on top of the stove that was it, I knew today might be the day that I would die. I was hoping that it was time that my brother came home I was trying blow my mother of till it was time from him to walk into the door. Mother was scaring me. I keep trying to talk to her and west time. she told me to get on top of the stove I got on top of the stove time was going so slow, right before mother turn the stove on brother ran into the house. THANK GOD! Brother saved my life ran away from mom while she goes and talks to brother.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Chp.2
The good days I had with my mother was me and her hanging out and laughing and having fun together I love being with my mom she always made me smile . mom was a wonderful woman she was always on top of things making sure the house was clean for dad when he got home and . mom never believe in doing things halfway mom always told us to do the best we could in whatever we were doing . I would love when mom would take us sight seeing tours around the city I remember the day she took us to Chinatown in San Francisco mom drove around and would tell us about the history of Chinese people. I also remember the day when mom sate us down around the cat and stared to explained the process of birth the mother cat had babies
I would also love when mother would decorate for Christmas when she was finished every room in our house had a seasonal touch I couldn’t wait till the day of Christmas to open all my gifts mom would always come into are rooms and wake us up and whispering "Santa came" we would get up and go down stares and open are gifts me my brothers and mother would open all are gifts but since dads job required him to work 24 hour shift he wasn’t there . So mother would take us to some parks and have us play and have fun with each other. Everyday seemed sprinkled with magic one day after dinner mom and dad took the three of us to watch the sun set .It was wonderful I love being with my mom and dad. I have so much fun with them.
I would also love when mother would decorate for Christmas when she was finished every room in our house had a seasonal touch I couldn’t wait till the day of Christmas to open all my gifts mom would always come into are rooms and wake us up and whispering "Santa came" we would get up and go down stares and open are gifts me my brothers and mother would open all are gifts but since dads job required him to work 24 hour shift he wasn’t there . So mother would take us to some parks and have us play and have fun with each other. Everyday seemed sprinkled with magic one day after dinner mom and dad took the three of us to watch the sun set .It was wonderful I love being with my mom and dad. I have so much fun with them.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Chp. 1
Today I got up to go to school I was late so I had to get driven there. My mom dropped my two brothers off to school but told me to stay in the call that she needed to tell me the plans for me tomorrow. After the car came to a stop, I dashed out of the car I heard my mom yell for me to come back.
You forgot your lunch box she said witch had the same menu for the last 3 years and before I shout the door again mother told me to tell them, to tell them that I ran in to the door. And then in a voice she never uses with me say says, Have a nice day.
I got into the school and since I’m so late I have to go to the office. Moments later the school nurse come out and leads me into her office, I go though this every day I come to school first she counts the slash like marks on my face looking for any she might have missed last time she looked. Then she opens my mouth to look at my chipped teeth from mother slamming me against the kitchen counter top. After she looked me over she asked me some thing and I told her things I shouldn’t have said mother would beat me if she found out if I have told them about what she does to me.
when my principal found out what had happen to me at home I was really scared that he was going to call my mother, I asked him to not call her please don’t call her I said to him , he told me that he wouldn’t. After that I went to class. after awhile in class I was called down into the office ,I walked into the office and seen all my home room teacher and a police officer I got really scared I didn’t know what to do .
I told them I didn’t steal anything. The officer started asking me about mother, I really didn’t want to say anything too many people already know. After every thing happens today the deal was that the officer was going to take me to the police stechin I got there and they wanted me to call mother. I bagged them not to call mother. The officer said every thing is going to be ok he asked for my number. I gave it to him he called mother. I could hear her voice over the phone it made me scared. The officer told her that I was in jail that I would not be coming home today.
After that he said to me see that wasn’t so bad was it? after the phone call the officer took me for a ride a few miles later , we are on bigbway heading towards the out side of daily city i look out my window and see the most beautiful highway in the world I ask him I don’t understand aren’t you taking me to some kind of jail? he smiled at me and said No David , you have nothing to worry about your mother is never going to hurt you again a tear started to run down my face, he told me that I was free .I’m not sure what that means but it sure sounds good .
You forgot your lunch box she said witch had the same menu for the last 3 years and before I shout the door again mother told me to tell them, to tell them that I ran in to the door. And then in a voice she never uses with me say says, Have a nice day.
I got into the school and since I’m so late I have to go to the office. Moments later the school nurse come out and leads me into her office, I go though this every day I come to school first she counts the slash like marks on my face looking for any she might have missed last time she looked. Then she opens my mouth to look at my chipped teeth from mother slamming me against the kitchen counter top. After she looked me over she asked me some thing and I told her things I shouldn’t have said mother would beat me if she found out if I have told them about what she does to me.
when my principal found out what had happen to me at home I was really scared that he was going to call my mother, I asked him to not call her please don’t call her I said to him , he told me that he wouldn’t. After that I went to class. after awhile in class I was called down into the office ,I walked into the office and seen all my home room teacher and a police officer I got really scared I didn’t know what to do .
I told them I didn’t steal anything. The officer started asking me about mother, I really didn’t want to say anything too many people already know. After every thing happens today the deal was that the officer was going to take me to the police stechin I got there and they wanted me to call mother. I bagged them not to call mother. The officer said every thing is going to be ok he asked for my number. I gave it to him he called mother. I could hear her voice over the phone it made me scared. The officer told her that I was in jail that I would not be coming home today.
After that he said to me see that wasn’t so bad was it? after the phone call the officer took me for a ride a few miles later , we are on bigbway heading towards the out side of daily city i look out my window and see the most beautiful highway in the world I ask him I don’t understand aren’t you taking me to some kind of jail? he smiled at me and said No David , you have nothing to worry about your mother is never going to hurt you again a tear started to run down my face, he told me that I was free .I’m not sure what that means but it sure sounds good .
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